The Knots Of Anger

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. - Mark Twain

Enough to make you shake in your boots, right? What’s a normal human being to do?

Let's look at ways you can soften anger, without turning it against yourself or dumping it on someone else.

Fight Anger, Embrace It with Tenderness

Thich Nhat Hanh tells us not to fight anger or suppress it but to recognize it with mindfulness and embrace it with awareness and tenderness. Don’t be afraid of the emotion, learn how to befriend it instead.

Breathing in, I know that anger has manifested in me; breathing out, I smile towards my anger. - Thich Nhat Hanh

You might find it difficult to smile at your anger. I certainly do, sometimes! But that’s okay. Just notice and accept the difficulty while doing your best to remain present with tenderness.

Breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out, I am taking good care of my anger. - Thich Nhat Hanh

These are the 3 steps, Thich Nhat Hanh recommends:
Recognize the distress.

Embrace the emotion.

Soothe the anger.

Even when you do this practice, anger may remain for quite a while. But over time, your internal formations will begin to lessen and your angry response will soften as a result. You'll gradually feel more at peace.

Read more from Thich Nhat Hanh about this practice: Loosening the Knots of Anger

Spirituality is not about finding ways to avoid or dismiss our feelings. Our highest potential is deeply emotional in nature. it’s about getting close enough to ourselves that we can see to the heart of what’s happening, be honest about it, and care for ourselves and each other to the best of our ability. Rejecting our emotions is not the path. Listening closely to the messages of the heart/mind and honoring them, even and especially when they are uncomfortable to sit with—that’s the practice. That’s where we find the nectar of anger.